Shock and Aw, Shucks

Rhonda Chriss Lokeman
Sat, 04 Oct 2008 21:00:00 -0700
Opinion

Ward Cleaver turns to his wife and says, "Gosh, June, how are we goin' to explain to Wally and the Beave that I just got laid off from my job of 25 years, our 401(k) tanked in the '08 market crash, and we can't get loans to send them to community college, much less Harvard, Yale or Princeton?"
To which June turns off the Hoover, knocks back a gin shot and replies, "Betcha didn't see that coming."

Despite Sarah Palin's Rockwellian performance at the first and only vice presidential debate, there aren't a lot of warm and fuzzy Americans full of folksy charm right now. Left out of the debate was news that Palin's reliable drinking buddy, Joe Six-Pack, is actually Two-Beer Joe. Wink! Wink!

Even in the heartland, where people tend to mince and measure words and avoid speaking ill of people in public, there is anger bordering on rage. People here went from "darn it" to "damn it" months ago. Palin seems to think we got to this place overnight, and John McCain kinda sorta stumbled upon it.

People were angry over Hank Paulson's original $700 billion ransom note to save Wall Street but angrier still that even with a rescue plan for the fat cats, most people still cannot afford to buy cars, washing machines or other durable goods, which indicates we are headed toward recession.

People in other countries are angry because their markets, sensitive to ours, are toppling like dominoes, and our allies are warning financiers and legislators not to follow the poor American example. European leaders boasted that unlike the USA, "We know how to take care of our own."

Third World countries, used to begging for debt forgiveness from the International Monetary Fund and others, were so surprised to find this nation insecure about its financial future that printing new money seemed to be the only option.

We remain a superpower, certainly, just one with the cape tugged on and the mask ripped off.

Factories have closed. Our manufacturing sector has disappeared. U.S. workers are shipping equipment and their jobs overseas and often to countries where workers are paid less and safety standards are nil.

The middle class has watched people with more than one home get a break on bankruptcy declaration. The working class no longer can pull itself up by its bootstraps because those boots were sold cheap at the most recent neighborhood garage sale just to make ends meet and buy school lunches.

So, fellow Americans, why was Sarah Palin smiling, and to whom was she winking when she said in St. Louis, "We're gonna fight for the middle class, everyday American men and women"? And why did John McCain hit the campaign trail the next day talking about liberals vs. conservatives? The old labels don't work when both liberals and conservatives are standing in the same unemployment lines.

Palin may not have blinked at the St. Louis debate, but all over the country, civil libertarians convulsed when she said, without being asked, that she intends to expand the executive powers of the vice presidency. This Dick Cheney in lipstick doesn't want to be a Senate tiebreaker but would directly intervene in congressional affairs and significantly blur the lines between two key government pillars. (I'd like to give a "shout-out" to Ben Franklin, Tom Jefferson, James Madison and Tom Paine, who knew better.)

The bloom is off the hothouse rose Palin, which thankfully did not wilt next to Joe Biden. Our attentions have since returned to the real world, where Wall Street and Main Street intersect. Senate and House lawmakers were reluctant, but they ultimately agreed that it was better to put out the fire now and quibble later about whether it was caused by arson or was an accident.

We're still a great nation, but -- gosh darn it! -- what happened to us? I mean besides nearly eight years of Dubya and the possibility of more Bushit should McCain-Palin win this election.

Ever wondered what a pig in lipstick is? Check out the bailout plan that is the new "rescue plan."

Rhonda Chriss Lokeman (RCLCreators@kc.rr.com) is a contributing editor to The Kansas City Star. To find out more about Rhonda Chriss Lokeman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.