Teen Claims: I Like Her and I am No Stalker!

Cherie Bennett
Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Hey, Cherie!

Here's the thing. I'm a 14-year-old guy, and there's a girl I like in my class. Let's call her Dianne, although that is not her real name, which starts with a Q. I'm serious that I like this girl a lot, but she already has a boyfriend.

What am I allowed to do or not do?
Updated: Wed Oct 07, 2009

Hey, Cherie!

Here's the thing. I'm a 14-year-old guy, and there's a girl I like in my class. Let's call her Dianne, although that is not her real name, which starts with a Q. I'm serious that I like this girl a lot, but she already has a boyfriend.

What am I allowed to do or not do?

Like I said, she has a boyfriend. Let's call him Alex. Now, you and I both know that the lifespan for boyfriends and girlfriends in ninth grade is not very long. Dianne and Alex have been together since about May. That is about six months, which is much longer than most ninth-grade couples.

What am I getting at? I am pretty good at math, and it seems to me that the odds are they will break up soon. I want to be in a position to be Dianne's boyfriend when the breakup happens, whenever it happens. We are friends and hang with the same people.

Am I allowed to call her? Text her? E-mail her? Do I have to tell Alex? He's not exactly my friend. Can we roller skate together? What's allowed and what isn't?

— Dianne's Next Boyfriend

Hey, Dianne's!

I'll say this for you, dude. You're not lacking for courage and foresight.

Here's what I think. I think that it's going to be up to Dianne to tell you if what you're doing is over the line in any way, and then you will need to respect what she says — if you want there to be any chance of your name coming true. For example, let's say you call her. And let's say you call her the next night and the next night. Now, there are some girls that are fine with the calls. Then there will be others who are going to say that Alex won't be happy with you calling her, or that she herself isn't happy. Know what? You gotta listen to her.

Same with e-mailing, texting, Facebook friending or whatever. You catch my drift? Because the last thing you want to do is turn into That Guy. You know what I mean: "You know That Guy who doesn't leave Dianne alone? What a jerk!"

You also have to be careful and cautious about reading too much into where you and Dianne stand, if it's OK with her for you to call. Yes, there's a chance that she just wants to be friends with you. But it is also possible, and I know this will warm your heart, that Dianne is actually warming to you. Be patient, don't be That Guy, and I hope you're happy with how it works out.

Hey, Cherie!

What do you think of the laws against texting in the car? I am a new driver who is very smart about using my texts. I will never text when I am driving. I don't even look at my texts when I am driving. But I will sometimes text at a red light where there is no danger of hitting someone. Now my state is putting a law against this, and I think that's bogus. It is only people who abuse the privilege that are ruining it for everyone else.

— Text Safe

Hey, Text!

Look in the rearview mirror when you pick your head up from the cell phone. See that Subaru? See the lady columnist with a lot of blond hair in the Subaru Forester? See her motioning for you to put the cell away and get moving, because you're holding up a whole line of cars? Know who that is? Yep. You guessed it. It's me! Put the cell away. Thank you.