Teen Girl Can't Believe Her Own Jealousy

Cherie Bennett
Thu, 22 Apr 2010 00:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Hey, Cherie!

I'm a girl in 10th grade. I am writing to you because I am shocking myself. I am shocking myself because I am so jealous of my ex-boyfriend. Yes, my ex, who I broke up with!

Here is my story and it is not pretty. Darryl and I were together for the second half of ninth grade. We were practically the class couple, went to ninth-grade prom together, blah, blah. We worked at the same theme park last summer and had a great time, not just because we knew we were lucky to actually have summer jobs. We came back to 10th grade and were together until December, but I was getting bored with him as the school year went on. Finally around Christmas, I said that it was time to end it.
Updated: Wed Apr 21, 2010

Hey, Cherie!

I'm a girl in 10th grade. I am writing to you because I am shocking myself. I am shocking myself because I am so jealous of my ex-boyfriend. Yes, my ex, who I broke up with!

Here is my story and it is not pretty. Darryl and I were together for the second half of ninth grade. We were practically the class couple, went to ninth-grade prom together, blah, blah. We worked at the same theme park last summer and had a great time, not just because we knew we were lucky to actually have summer jobs. We came back to 10th grade and were together until December, but I was getting bored with him as the school year went on. Finally around Christmas, I said that it was time to end it.

Darryl was sad, but he got over it. I got over it too, I think. We have each gone out with other people. But the crazy thing is, I am crazy jealous about him. If I see him with another girl, I find it impossible to get the image out of my mind. One time I actually saw him kissing this girl Alycia, and I couldn't even get to sleep that night.

Cherie, it is weird because I don't think I want to go out with Darryl again. It's just that I can't stand the idea of other girls with him!

— Green Over Darryl

Hey, Green!

Let's see. You broke up with him at Christmas. It's now nearly May. That's four full months. And you're in 10th grade, when a week is the equivalent of a adult month and four months is the equivalent of a year.

Yep. It's confirmed. You've got terminal jealousy. Now, here's the big question. Usually, girls do not get jealous over guys that they don't want to be with, and guys do not get jealous of girls that they don't want to be with. And you, Green, have been jealous now for four full months. Kinda makes me wonder: "Do you think you made a mistake by breaking up with Darryl?"

Now, if you do, you have two options. You can do nothing. The likelihood is that the jealousy will go away, especially after you meet another guy who occupies all those Darryl-thoughts that you're having right now. That's going to happen, eventually — when, I can't say.

The other option is to admit that you think you made a mistake, take a deep breath, take another deep breath, and go back to Darryl. This is the trickiest of situations, and there's a decent chance that Darryl is going to tell you to take a very long hike off an iceberg. But it's also possible that Darryl will look into your eyes, hear what you're saying, and say "OK. But slowly."

Which do you want to do? It's up to you. But I'm not buying the I'm-jealous-but-I'm-not-into-him thing. Not for a second.

Hey, Cherie!

The good news is that I lost about 100 pounds in the last two years. I was one of those really overweight girls and now I am down to average. I'm happy. But I also have stretch marks on my belly.

I would like to wear a bikini now that I can, but I can't wear a bikini if you know what I'm saying. Is there anything that I can do?

— Marked Up

Hey, Marked!

Losing 100 pounds is a big achievement. But I've said before and I will say it again: Unless you're way, way, way out on the range of weight (in either direction), you are not what you weigh. You are who you are inside.

Now, about those stretch marks. Get thee to a dermatologist. There's a range of treatments from surgery to lasers to creams with varying effectiveness. Don't buy over-the-counter cream without consulting a dermatologist. You could be tossing your money away.