ETHNICALLY SPEAKING

Larry Meeks
Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0800
Lifestyle

Dear Larry: Some folks want to look lighter; others prance around showing everyone their tanned skin. Oprah Winfrey always is made up to look lighter on the cover of her magazine. The beaches are packed with white women trying desperately to "fry their buns," tanning to the point of getting melanoma.

I am Jewish and happen to be one of the few redheads in my family. I have cousins who are blond with blue eyes and some who are very dark. Skin tone and hair texture never have been issues for us, but they probably are for other families.

I've found that parents who are conscious of their children's skin and hair are really just mean-spirited to the core. Why would a parent favor the beautiful children over the plain ones?
Updated: Fri Dec 04, 2009

Dear Larry: Some folks want to look lighter; others prance around showing everyone their tanned skin. Oprah Winfrey always is made up to look lighter on the cover of her magazine. The beaches are packed with white women trying desperately to "fry their buns," tanning to the point of getting melanoma.

I am Jewish and happen to be one of the few redheads in my family. I have cousins who are blond with blue eyes and some who are very dark. Skin tone and hair texture never have been issues for us, but they probably are for other families.

I've found that parents who are conscious of their children's skin and hair are really just mean-spirited to the core. Why would a parent favor the beautiful children over the plain ones?

It's natural for people to give more attention to the blond kids, no matter how ugly. In the book "Little House in the Big Woods," many times the elder sister gets more attention because of her blond hair, and Laura feels she gets no attention because her hair is "ugly and brown."

Children have been taught to think that evil people are ugly. In children's books, the villains are usually unattractive. The "bad kids" in children's books are usually fat and unattractive. In "The Lord of the Rings," the Orcs, goblins and all the bad people are horrible-looking. The good people, such as the Gondorians and elves, are gorgeous.

The same thing is in the "Harry Potter" books. The good people are pretty, and the bad ones are ugly. I have yet to see a children's book in which the villain looks great. — Jewish Redhead

Dear J.R.: It is obvious we are programmed almost from birth to society's definition of beauty, and what is beautiful is labeled good and ugly bad.

You are right; pretty people have an advantage over plain or ordinary people. In this society, many factors determine what is pretty, including skin color/texture, hair, facial features, posture, height and body size. What is sad is these factors are determined genetically and are very difficult, if not impossible, to change.

Beauty is not based solely upon the above inherited features. Other elements — such as dress, personality, character and aura — are added to the concept of beauty.

I have seen so-called ordinary people excel in the non-inherited qualities and have actually transformed their classification into the pretty category.

What is beautiful is not universally accepted. Pretty is a very subjective quality, and I have found that what is pretty to one may be unattractive to another.

I believe we all should accept who we are, excel in the factors we can control, and feel grateful for the opportunity of life. When we focus on those things, we have that inner glow that others find beautiful.

Dear Larry: I am fascinated with your column, week after week, so many thoughts and concerns about ethnicity. Why is that? Is it American culture, because we are so visually orientated? Or is it a worldwide phenomenon? — Eve

Dear Eve: I do not believe it is a worldwide phenomenon. Some countries do not care about human rights or equality. The powerful just trample upon the weak without concern.

America is very concerned about race, culture, religion and ethnicity because of our history. We founded this country on equality and freedom. However, we did not fully live up to those high standards. In the past 60 years, we've had a societal renaissance, and we are trying to abide by those powerful ideals.

The only way to achieve these lofty principles is to focus on race, etc.